Yesterday evening, I had my first ever Neurologist appointment, since living in Oregon. We were very pleasantly surprised with him! I felt like he really cares. He is getting me set up with Oregon State University in Portland- their neuro-muscular specialists there. (about 4 hours from our home). It will probably take a couple of months before I have the actual appointment.
Going through the tests again, the strength tests that every neuro seems to do, just overwhelmed me. It reminded me of how very weak I have become since I was seen in Mayo back in the summer of 2013. Reading this doctor's report just seemed to break my heart again as I read the words "Motor Neuron Disease", etc. etc. It just overwhelms.
Last night as I went to bed, I reached over for my husband's t-shirt, to grab a hold of it as I've done so many nights before. I realized I couldn't grasp it anymore. I had to sort of stuff a bunch of the shirt in my hand to have any sort of grasp on it.
My mind raced back to being a 4 year old girl or so, and sleeping in between my Mama and my Daddy. I would always grab a hold of my Daddy's white t-shirt and fall asleep, blissfully unaware of any danger that might be lurking. After all, my Daddy would protect me from all harm. I cried thinking how I was losing the very basic ability to hold something in a grasp or a pinch.
Life seemed to overwhelm me yesterday and last night, but I am back today.... happy that my Mama is here with us for nearly four weeks! It is so good to see her!
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